Written by Amina Al-Harbi, social consultant
Stubborn women fail in their marriages, and even in their relationships with relatives.
Women who lack emotional intelligence and flexibility in dealing with people around them, are the biggest failures in their marriages and their lives. Why?
She enters into an egoistic tug of war with her husband, and prefers the voice of her ego to try to overcome him, and in fact she fails before the ego of her husband and the ego of those who are around her, because men become more stubborn in front of a stubborn wife and stubborn sister, and they become more gentle in front of a submissive woman.
A headstrong woman thinks that she can win while insisting on her opinion, and she can stand in front of any opposition. She forgets that even if she wins by her obstinacy in her opinion and stand, she loses the heart that was loving her and caring for her.
Many narrations and wise proverbs in all the cultures have praised an easy-going, soft, friendly, patient and enduring woman. Even the Messenger (peace and blessings be on him) and the Companions after him, recommended and praised a woman who respects her husband and speaks with softness and wisdom, and in turn he will love her and never leave her.
The woman who will obey her husband and stoop to let the storm pass; she is the wise, rational woman who thrives, and holds the family together. The woman who stands like an unyielding dry stick is the one who breaks, suffering irreparable damage.
The uncompromising woman clings to her opinion. She tries to constantly perpetuate the illusion of her victory: I win and you lose, I am right and you are wrong. Such a woman destroys herself before destroying others. And she lives a life of sorrowful despondency in this world and the hereafter.
From my experiences in marital counseling, I found that mulish women end up in divorce. And bitterly fail in their family and social life. The even end up destroying her own father family and his siblings’
The advice of a bedouin Arab woman to her daughter on the day of her marriage, is considered by all the successful women the best advice for a woman. She said:
“Be his slave……and surely he becomes your imminent slave”.
“Men are kind, generous and benevolent, but a stubborn, foolish woman turns them into enemies.”
Finally I quote a wise Sheikh (may God have mercy on him):
I was a civil court judge for 27 years………and I found that most of the divorce incidents are caused by the anger of a man, and by the foolish responses of a woman.
In other words, the stubbornness of a woman makes a man ten times more stubborn than her.*
Translated by Sheikh Abdus Salam al-Madani*
Founder, Aspire College of Excellence.
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Well, in these days of feminism and female affirmative action, l find that the perceptions young women have about what should be their relationship with their spouses is seriously blighted by ego and impatience. They are not willing to work on their inherent flaws and feel the man should be the one to adjust to their own idiosyncrasies. I personally think the above tips works and any woman who wants to make a success of her marriage will do well to follow them.
#AdimGood
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